Is about motherhood and what lies beyond. The slightly longer backstory is that motherhood, for me, opened up an entire new level of existence. I have been plagued by existential angst for most of my twenties and early thirties, and growing past that demanded I face some of my deepest fears. It required that I look both inside and outside, and as I shed my previous assumptions about reality I started to rebuild a new foundation.
Motherhood, with its raw honesty, ethereal love and deeper connection to life around me was not only the frightening initiator but also the anchor that led me through it. In an odd way, I wouldn’t want to be my existential struggle, since life today is infused with much more meaning. I find myself having honest discussions about the deeper meaning of it all with old as well as new friends that are living the motherhood experience with me, but – true to the nature of motherhood – we rarely have time to finish them properly. That’s what this blog does.
I was one of those children to convincingly state I’m going to be a writer, who wrote stories everywhere on everything, until real life silenced that voice and practical choices overshadowed it altogether. However, if there is anything that life has taught me, it’s that we gravitate towards our passions in one way or another. We move towards that which lights us up and fires our engines, and if we choose to live in the shadows, we slowly kill that which we call our spirit. Writing makes up a small part of my day job, which I love, but I have been itching to arrange and write my own thoughts in my own words for several years. Editing blogs and writing copy for work only made me more convinced that I need to start writing of my own pen, or I’ll channel all that creative energy into something far less productive.
In short, I write because I want to share the honest, raw experience of being a mother. I write to counteract all the selfies, the blissful-holiday-picture, the rosy new-baby-pictures flooding our social media feeds. I write because those pictures do not reflect the true experience, at least not for me. Motherhood is the most joyous of heights, an entirely different level of existence, but it is also bottomless fear; fear of when my own life will end, fear of losing my child, fear of failure. If it resonates with someone, somewhere, it’s enough to keep me going.